The Evolution

Spirituality is a part of my life. I was born christian went to church for a good part of my life but I have always been a rebel. In my teen years I chose to fight against what I couldn't understand. To me religion was a way for people to explain what they didn't know. It was used by people in power to keep in power and to be used as a tool to keep people controlled. There have been incredibly good things done because of religion and incredibly evil things done in the name of God.

Even though I have issues with organized religion I still believe in a higher power. I believe that God has a role in my life. I believe that certain events in my life happen because there is something out there that pushes my life in the direction it needs to go.

My last break up was with a girl that I had met through an online dating site. At first things were going great but it was a long distance relationship. she lived in Philadelphia and I am in New York. It takes 2 hours to get there which isn't horrible but its not something you can do after work and be back the next day for your shift. We would constantly be on the phone multiple times a day talking about whatever. After a while I didn't have the desire to talk as much. There wasn't much to talk about and we both felt that we weren't right for each other. She eventually broke up with me and I did nothing to prevent it. After not having her in my life I did miss her. We had taken a trip to Washington DC together for 3 days which was probably one of the best vacations I ever had. It was awesome to be able to tour through a city with a girl on your arm. I would constantly be thinking about our time together alone, at the circus, or just out to dinner together. I wasn't necessarily missing her but the act of having someone that you like and can spend time with.

I told my cousin one day that I had missed her. I don't know why I brought it up because typically I am not open with my emotions. We got to talking about relationships and he had recommended a book. That book was called The Game. I quickly ordered it on Amazon and a couple of days later I started reading it. It was an amazingly well written book that has a lot of wisdom.

As I started reading the book it filled me with confidence. It was all about how to get a women. I always wanted to believe that there wasn't a game that men and women played or that I would find a girl based on who I am but that doesn't work as well. We are all creatures that have desire and drive. Our subconscious is triggered by certain actions. Women are driven to attraction by an alpha male. Someone of confidence, strength, presence, and more then likely an asshole. While every girl wants to be with someone who treats them nice and takes care of them, that behavior is a turn off to most women. They want someone who is a bad boy, mysterious, adventurous who will bring drama into their life. Every girl will deny it but the proof is out there on the street.

God, the universe, a higher being are all not cruel. He hears what we have to say but doesn't drop it in our lap. If we are handed something like a child we might enjoy it for a few minutes but we quickly get bored and ignore it. If we are forced to work for something we want and it isn't easy but we get it we appreciate it that much more. We cherish it and we work to keep it.

I have read the book, listen to advice pod casts, and searched the Internet for the tools I need to be the person that a girl is attracted to. I have the will and desire to become not just me but the best me I can be.

The Game has a follow up book as well. Its called Rules of the Game. in the book it has the stylelife challenge. It is exercises done every day to help build the confidence and change habits to attract a girl that you want. I'm still very early on in the book but it so far has shown me that girls are not by nature mean. If you approach them and ask them a question they will usually politely awnser it for you. Even though we have come far in the equality of both sexes it is still expected that guy always initiate the conversation and take action to push the relationship forward. The one thing I am most afraid of is rejection. When thinking about talking to a hot girl I will always think about how she will tell me no. I know that its not the end of the world if she says no but it destroys me inside. I want to run and hide from the world and I question if I should have even have had the right to be born.

Though it doesn't matter. So what if she said no. Its not like its the end of the world. Plus there are so many girls out there that would be lucky to have a guy like me. But what if she said yes. Maybe we would have had a great time together. Even if we don't end up with wedding bells in the future there are limitless possibilities of social connections, learning new stuff, or just having a blast. If you ask out 100 girls and 99 girls say no you are still in a better position then if you asked no one.

Maybe one day I will fall in love...