Oh how far a man can go in such a short time. It's been a very long time since I have updated my blog and a lot of stuff has happened. I went from being depressed about a girl, a revelation found in book, studying the art of attraction, living a social outgoing life, having a girlfriend, and then taking that girlfriend and asking her to be my wife.
That is right I am officially engaged. I knew very early on that I would be marrying this girl. We were both very easy going and got along pretty well. We both loved spending time with each other and grew very close. I told my family that I had loved her and took a trip into the city with my mother to go buy her a beautiful engagement ring. I didn't think that I would find exactly what I wanted at a descent price but I was surprised that the store I went to had exactly what I wanted. The price was also very reasonable. Once I had the ring the next thing I had to do was create a story that she could tell the world. I remember sitting on my sister's bed one day when she was talking to her friends about the idea of getting married. This was many years ago well before she had met her husband. They were all talking about how important the rock was and how the proposal actually happens.
So here is the grand story I had created to for her to tell all of her friends. I pushed really hard for us to take a vacation together. We had decided that mid July we would take a cruise to the Bahamas. We spent a few months planning it and we picked Norwegian cruise lines and set off for 7 days of fun. The weather couldn't be better. Every day was sunny and absolutely gorgeous. I had my ring with me but I knew I didn't want to do it until we had gotten somewhere tropical. Once we got on that boat we were together 24/7. We shared great food, went to great shows, spent time in the pool/hot tub together. It was a great vacation and we were in love and loving the time together.
I still didn't know what I had wanted to do yet though. How was I going to give her the ring. The best time to do it would be when we were in the Bahamas. I had been there once before and it was beautiful. Probably the best place would be the beach. 4 days into our cruise we had arrived at the shore in the Bahamas. I grabbed my ring, threw it in my pocket and we headed off. I didn't want it to be the first thing that we did so we decided to hit up the pool, go down the lazy river, go on one of the rides, hit up the beach, and visit the aquarium. All the while I was trying to find the perfect spot. There was a major junction that led from the hotel to the water park and at that junction was a beautiful walkway with a fountain. That was going to be my spot. It was a long day and Shincy was tired. She wanted to stop walking but I couldn't give up. We got to the area and I wanted to take a picture. I found a guy walking by and told him to take a picture and switch it to video mode and keep it trained on us.
At this point my heart was racing. I was finally going to do it. Earlier that day we were at the beach and I like to go further in the water then Shincy does. She was hanging out closer to the shore and had met a little boy. They started talking and the little boy gave Shincy a rock. She told Shincy that the rock would protect her from the water. Shincy gave me the rock to put in my pocket since she couldn't hold it herself. This was my perfect segway. At the fountain I told Shincy that the little boy made me jealous. I was her boyfriend and I should be the one giving her a fancy rock. At the moment I got down on one knee and pulled out the box from my pocket. "Shincy these last few months have been so amazing with you, and I want the rest of my life to be just as amazing. Will you marry me?" She was a little shocked but she said of coarse. I yelled at the top of my lung "she said yes". There was clapping from all around us as we had gathered a crowd around us.
She was so surprised at the ring. I had found the perfect one that she wanted. Throughout that day she couldn't stop staring at it. The sun was shining and we still had 3 days left of vacation. After that we had a lifetime of love together.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
First comes love then comes...
Shincy and I are now moving into our fourth month of being together. A lot has happened in the last month. The main thing is marriage. We have gone from just talking about it to planning it officially. Even though we are not engaged yet and I haven't proposed yet we have already planned a day for the engagement party. On August 21, 2010 we will have 150 of our closest friends and family to celebrate the coming of our marriage.
I have always found myself to be rebellious toward tradition and cultural requirements. When I was younger I didn't want a big wedding or engagement party. I really didn't even want an Indian wedding. It looks to be impossible to escape this though. I am Indian and the girl that I am marrying wants a traditional event. Also our families have their input as well as to what they want. We looked at halls for the engagement already and when we went in for our appointment we told them 100. When talking a month back we really wanted between 75-100 of o closest friends/family. If you don't get invited to the engagement you can come to the wedding where we were always planning on having 300 people.
We put together a list of all the people we want to invite for the engagement and we are already up to 190 people. My mom gave me a list of people we have to invite from the church and because of our number I have to cut off some of my friends and her friends from it. I was talking to my best friend Phil last night and he said that this engagement is about me and Shincy. I don't really interact to much with the people from my church and I should be inviting the people who had a real impact on my life first before moving onto people from my church. What I will probably end up doing is putting all my friends and family on there and giving my mother a number of about 20-25 people that she can invite to the engagement and let her choose who she wants to invite.
This is only the engagement so far. We still have to pick a hall for the wedding and start getting our arrangements for that. Shincy wants to go to India before the end of the year. She will take about 10 days to go and do all her shopping. My mom wants me and her to go as well to deal with any prewedding stuff we have to take care of. We have to visit family and get blessings from my relatives and visit my dad's burial location. I just really don't want to go and I've made it pretty obvious to her that I won't be going. She will be persistent and quite possibly convince me to go.
Our wedding expenses are going to be big. We are planning on having a budget of 6000 for the engagement and 55,000 for the wedding. That's a lot of money. Also I have to buy my engagement ring, plan a honeymoon and pay for any expenses related to us living together. I have no idea how much all of that is going to cost us but I know that we will be paying for it for a long time to come.
The good thing about our marriage is that after marriage she will be living with me in my house with my mother and grandma. That will cut back on the cost of having to pay for rent or having to pay for a mortgage. I will have to update my room to accommodate her though. After our engagement in the fall I will probably hire a contractor to pull all of the paneling off my wall, put up new sheet rock, paint everything, and lay down new carpeting. This will probably take a month to do but I have so much stuff in my room I have no idea where I'm going to put it while this is happening. Then we'll have to buy all new furniture for the room so that it'll have enough room for the both of us. She is a girl and as such has a ton of clothing. She's going to need a place to put all that stuff and we're going to have to turn it from a boys room with video games and posters all over the place to that of a married couple.
Converting my room into a a married room means that I have to find a new home for most of my toys. I'll probably end up converting part of the basement into a "mancave". I'll throw my collection of stuff down there, place a TV there with some of my video game systems there and end up having my friends come down here whenever we want to play. I just don't know if I'm going to keep playing my games in my room when I'm alone or move everything down there this way I don't disturb her when I want to play.
My life is about to change big time. I am getting married and as such I will have to adapt to the new climate. I'm a little scared and about to drop a lot of money but in the end this will be good for me. I'll be with the women I love and moving closer to that life I had imagined for myself. As the main character in the movie 3 idiots said when he was nervous. Just tell yourself All Is Well and you'll be just fine.
I have always found myself to be rebellious toward tradition and cultural requirements. When I was younger I didn't want a big wedding or engagement party. I really didn't even want an Indian wedding. It looks to be impossible to escape this though. I am Indian and the girl that I am marrying wants a traditional event. Also our families have their input as well as to what they want. We looked at halls for the engagement already and when we went in for our appointment we told them 100. When talking a month back we really wanted between 75-100 of o closest friends/family. If you don't get invited to the engagement you can come to the wedding where we were always planning on having 300 people.
We put together a list of all the people we want to invite for the engagement and we are already up to 190 people. My mom gave me a list of people we have to invite from the church and because of our number I have to cut off some of my friends and her friends from it. I was talking to my best friend Phil last night and he said that this engagement is about me and Shincy. I don't really interact to much with the people from my church and I should be inviting the people who had a real impact on my life first before moving onto people from my church. What I will probably end up doing is putting all my friends and family on there and giving my mother a number of about 20-25 people that she can invite to the engagement and let her choose who she wants to invite.
This is only the engagement so far. We still have to pick a hall for the wedding and start getting our arrangements for that. Shincy wants to go to India before the end of the year. She will take about 10 days to go and do all her shopping. My mom wants me and her to go as well to deal with any prewedding stuff we have to take care of. We have to visit family and get blessings from my relatives and visit my dad's burial location. I just really don't want to go and I've made it pretty obvious to her that I won't be going. She will be persistent and quite possibly convince me to go.
Our wedding expenses are going to be big. We are planning on having a budget of 6000 for the engagement and 55,000 for the wedding. That's a lot of money. Also I have to buy my engagement ring, plan a honeymoon and pay for any expenses related to us living together. I have no idea how much all of that is going to cost us but I know that we will be paying for it for a long time to come.
The good thing about our marriage is that after marriage she will be living with me in my house with my mother and grandma. That will cut back on the cost of having to pay for rent or having to pay for a mortgage. I will have to update my room to accommodate her though. After our engagement in the fall I will probably hire a contractor to pull all of the paneling off my wall, put up new sheet rock, paint everything, and lay down new carpeting. This will probably take a month to do but I have so much stuff in my room I have no idea where I'm going to put it while this is happening. Then we'll have to buy all new furniture for the room so that it'll have enough room for the both of us. She is a girl and as such has a ton of clothing. She's going to need a place to put all that stuff and we're going to have to turn it from a boys room with video games and posters all over the place to that of a married couple.
Converting my room into a a married room means that I have to find a new home for most of my toys. I'll probably end up converting part of the basement into a "mancave". I'll throw my collection of stuff down there, place a TV there with some of my video game systems there and end up having my friends come down here whenever we want to play. I just don't know if I'm going to keep playing my games in my room when I'm alone or move everything down there this way I don't disturb her when I want to play.
My life is about to change big time. I am getting married and as such I will have to adapt to the new climate. I'm a little scared and about to drop a lot of money but in the end this will be good for me. I'll be with the women I love and moving closer to that life I had imagined for myself. As the main character in the movie 3 idiots said when he was nervous. Just tell yourself All Is Well and you'll be just fine.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Three Months in
It is April now and I have been in this relationship for almost 3 months. Things are starting to settle down in somewhat of a routine. She got a 9-5 job that is a bit further away so we try to see each other at least once during the week and whatever days we can during the weekend. My mother is used to seeing her around the house and cooks for her when she knows she is coming by and has already bought her a present for her birthday coming up. We are getting very comfortable in our relationship and are always talking about the next step.
We share a lot of qualities. We are go with the flow people, loving toward each other, and share similar goals for what we want in the future. We differ in a lot of small stuff though. As far as palette goes I prefer more American based foods while she enjoys more Indian and Mediterranean food. Regardless of where we go we will still find something that we can both eat. I am more hardcore when it comes to technology, video games, movies, and TV shows. I have not seen anything that she is overly passionate about but she does dabble in things she finds interesting. Wherever we do go we have fun and enjoy each other's company.
One of the goals that we share is marriage and kids. Where we differ is in the "when". With my family, friends, and even stories of people I don't know, there is usually a descent gap from when they first met to when they actually get married. For the most part people get married sometime between 2 and 3 years. She experiences the opposite side. For her marriage happens within a few short months of meeting. Once you know you want to get married set the date. When we had first talked about it her goal was to get married by November. I was surprised when I heard this. I thought she would have share a similar timeline with how my sisters and cousins have done it. While discussing it, her family and friends have always married quickly. Her sister had talked to a guy from India and within 6 months she flew out there, met him for the first time and got married. One of her close college friends met a girl through an Indian matchmaking site and within a month he had proposed to her and got married that same year.
Now we want to get married but we clash on how long we should wait. My original plan if everything wen well was to propose to her by the end of the year between Thanksgiving and Christmas and have a wedding in the fall of next year. Her plan was to be engaged before the summer and married before the year ended. I have no problem pushing up the wedding but there are a lot of logistics to planning a wedding. Getting a hall, booking a church, DJ, caterer, cake, seating charts, invites, and getting everything to go well takes a lot of planning. I'm not sure if its possible to arrange with a smaller time gap. We were thinking about a May wedding because our churches don't allow marriage for the 40 days leading up to Easter. May is the beginning of the wedding season so it would be more expensive to do it at that time and more difficult to book exactly what we want.
While she still wants to do it November we won't be able to get the vacation time this year and get everything up and running when it comes to families getting the time off as well. She doesn't want to wait until May so she wants it sometime in January or February,. My main dilemma with those months is how cold it will be. I'm afraid that there will probably be a snow storm at that time or everyone will have to wear a heavy coat on top of their beautiful dresses. We won't be able to take any pictures outside and will be limited to indoor stuff only. The good thing is prices will be better since not a lot of people will be having weddings around that time.
Shincy is the girl I want to marry. Even though we have only been together for 3 months I have spent more time with her then any girl before. I love her and she loves me. She gets along well with my family and I with hers. She is stable in her career, enjoys what she does, and shares similar life goals with me. I don't expect things to be easy and I will have to work to make us both happy. I look forward to my future with her and can't wait to spend the rest of my life together with her.
We share a lot of qualities. We are go with the flow people, loving toward each other, and share similar goals for what we want in the future. We differ in a lot of small stuff though. As far as palette goes I prefer more American based foods while she enjoys more Indian and Mediterranean food. Regardless of where we go we will still find something that we can both eat. I am more hardcore when it comes to technology, video games, movies, and TV shows. I have not seen anything that she is overly passionate about but she does dabble in things she finds interesting. Wherever we do go we have fun and enjoy each other's company.
One of the goals that we share is marriage and kids. Where we differ is in the "when". With my family, friends, and even stories of people I don't know, there is usually a descent gap from when they first met to when they actually get married. For the most part people get married sometime between 2 and 3 years. She experiences the opposite side. For her marriage happens within a few short months of meeting. Once you know you want to get married set the date. When we had first talked about it her goal was to get married by November. I was surprised when I heard this. I thought she would have share a similar timeline with how my sisters and cousins have done it. While discussing it, her family and friends have always married quickly. Her sister had talked to a guy from India and within 6 months she flew out there, met him for the first time and got married. One of her close college friends met a girl through an Indian matchmaking site and within a month he had proposed to her and got married that same year.
Now we want to get married but we clash on how long we should wait. My original plan if everything wen well was to propose to her by the end of the year between Thanksgiving and Christmas and have a wedding in the fall of next year. Her plan was to be engaged before the summer and married before the year ended. I have no problem pushing up the wedding but there are a lot of logistics to planning a wedding. Getting a hall, booking a church, DJ, caterer, cake, seating charts, invites, and getting everything to go well takes a lot of planning. I'm not sure if its possible to arrange with a smaller time gap. We were thinking about a May wedding because our churches don't allow marriage for the 40 days leading up to Easter. May is the beginning of the wedding season so it would be more expensive to do it at that time and more difficult to book exactly what we want.
While she still wants to do it November we won't be able to get the vacation time this year and get everything up and running when it comes to families getting the time off as well. She doesn't want to wait until May so she wants it sometime in January or February,. My main dilemma with those months is how cold it will be. I'm afraid that there will probably be a snow storm at that time or everyone will have to wear a heavy coat on top of their beautiful dresses. We won't be able to take any pictures outside and will be limited to indoor stuff only. The good thing is prices will be better since not a lot of people will be having weddings around that time.
Shincy is the girl I want to marry. Even though we have only been together for 3 months I have spent more time with her then any girl before. I love her and she loves me. She gets along well with my family and I with hers. She is stable in her career, enjoys what she does, and shares similar life goals with me. I don't expect things to be easy and I will have to work to make us both happy. I look forward to my future with her and can't wait to spend the rest of my life together with her.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Good Boyfriend
I have reached an interesting place in my life. Everything I can ask for I am getting. My career is going well, I am having a ton of fun, and I have a girlfriend. Regardless of what is going on in your life you find a way to fill it with something. When I was single I would fill it with video games, movies, television. Now that my girlfriend has entered the picture I find myself missing some of the stuff I used to have a ton of time for. I would always stay on top of my DVR and be caught up with all the latest show but now I find myself deleting stuff I don't watch to make more room for other shows.
Throughout life we all come across change. Change from school to work. Change from single to married. Change from apartment to home. With that we must become flexible and adapt to our new circumstances. With my new girlfriend things have moved pretty quickly. It has been only a month and a half with her but we have spent so much time together. My last couple of girlfriends have been long distance so we sometimes see each other once or twice a month. With my new girl we go out 3-4 times a week.
Being from a traditional Indian family my dating lifestyle is a bit more restricted. I am supposed to hide my dating life from my family a bit more but I haven't. A lot of my friends and family know that we are in a very serious relationship. She has come over to my house and met my parents and I've met her whole family. The one thing I would have never imagined was being able to be in either of our bedrooms with the door closed while our family has been in the house. I have never ventured this far in a relationship before so it is exciting and scary at the same time.
I have learned how to attract her through my recent education of the game but I don't know the correct way to be a good boyfriend. There are a lot of dont's when first dating a girl that become do's as you enter a serious relationship. You are not supposed to compliment a girl, pay for her, or give her affection. If you continue to do that when you are her boyfriend, that relationship is doomed. The material I have read doesn't go that far. I am doing what I always do in most relationships and hoping that works. I feel there has to be a balance in being a good boyfriend. You still have to be confident and be the man to keep her attracted. You can't be a prick and bring her down or else she will feel unworthy and that's not a good relationship to have. I have no problem changing who I am to accommodate a girl but I still want to keep who I am. I don't want to be whipped and cater to everything she wants but I do want to make her happy. The best relationship is when both people care about each other and do things to make each other happy.
Shincy (my girlfriend) has changed my life. I have never felt this way about a girl before her. We are hanging out all weekend long and I don't get tired of her. I am always planning our next date and am excited to spend time with her. Even though it's only been a month and a half we have already started talking about marriage. While a little scary to think about I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. One of her friends put it best. You guys have such a relaxed relationship and have a ton of affection for each other. She does stuff to make me happy and I want to make her happy. I know when I get out of work I'll be calling her to hear her voice and see how her day has went. When Friday comes around we'll be out on the town having a great time. I can picture her in a white dress walking down the aisle of a church as I wait for her at the alter. I can picture her laying next to me at night and kissing her as I wake up in the morning. I can picture her in the kitchen as we're making breakfast together and our kids are running around. I think I am falling in love...
Throughout life we all come across change. Change from school to work. Change from single to married. Change from apartment to home. With that we must become flexible and adapt to our new circumstances. With my new girlfriend things have moved pretty quickly. It has been only a month and a half with her but we have spent so much time together. My last couple of girlfriends have been long distance so we sometimes see each other once or twice a month. With my new girl we go out 3-4 times a week.
Being from a traditional Indian family my dating lifestyle is a bit more restricted. I am supposed to hide my dating life from my family a bit more but I haven't. A lot of my friends and family know that we are in a very serious relationship. She has come over to my house and met my parents and I've met her whole family. The one thing I would have never imagined was being able to be in either of our bedrooms with the door closed while our family has been in the house. I have never ventured this far in a relationship before so it is exciting and scary at the same time.
I have learned how to attract her through my recent education of the game but I don't know the correct way to be a good boyfriend. There are a lot of dont's when first dating a girl that become do's as you enter a serious relationship. You are not supposed to compliment a girl, pay for her, or give her affection. If you continue to do that when you are her boyfriend, that relationship is doomed. The material I have read doesn't go that far. I am doing what I always do in most relationships and hoping that works. I feel there has to be a balance in being a good boyfriend. You still have to be confident and be the man to keep her attracted. You can't be a prick and bring her down or else she will feel unworthy and that's not a good relationship to have. I have no problem changing who I am to accommodate a girl but I still want to keep who I am. I don't want to be whipped and cater to everything she wants but I do want to make her happy. The best relationship is when both people care about each other and do things to make each other happy.
Shincy (my girlfriend) has changed my life. I have never felt this way about a girl before her. We are hanging out all weekend long and I don't get tired of her. I am always planning our next date and am excited to spend time with her. Even though it's only been a month and a half we have already started talking about marriage. While a little scary to think about I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her. One of her friends put it best. You guys have such a relaxed relationship and have a ton of affection for each other. She does stuff to make me happy and I want to make her happy. I know when I get out of work I'll be calling her to hear her voice and see how her day has went. When Friday comes around we'll be out on the town having a great time. I can picture her in a white dress walking down the aisle of a church as I wait for her at the alter. I can picture her laying next to me at night and kissing her as I wake up in the morning. I can picture her in the kitchen as we're making breakfast together and our kids are running around. I think I am falling in love...
Monday, February 8, 2010
New Girlfriend
Life is sometimes Ironic. When I walk around with a copy of The Game it looks like I am walking around with the Bible. I am a pretty spiritual person so I believe that God made it so that I would read that book and go on the journey that I have embarked on. I have learned how to approach, build attraction and comfort. I learned the steps of physical escalations and the importance of Kino. I learned how to act that will make people believe I have value. I notice it in the people I interact with. They sense something in me and have respect for me.
With all my skills I figured something would work out through the act of following the game. I have approached in social settings and gotten a few numbers. Some lead to second dates but nothing all to spectacular. Then one day I was at a wedding. While talking to my cousin a girl notices me in the distance. She approaches my cousins and asks who I was. Later that day my cousin comes up to me and tells me that the girl who approached her had a sister that she wanted to hook me up with. There are many opportunities thrown at us in life and you never know where they will lead so I said yes. After a few e-mails back and forth and a phone conversation we decide to meet up.
Our first date went OK. We met up at a local restaurant, had dinner, and a nice conversation throughout the evening. I didn't think to much of it. It defiantly wasn't love at first site. I talked to her on the phone that week once and we decided to go out again during the following week. We had an entire day together. We had lunch, went bowling, shopping, caught a movie. A fun filled day. We had an absolute blast together. She was down to earth, classy, family oriented and a lot of stuff that you wouldn't find in a girl at the club. She was a bit shy and that is probably one reason I would have never approached her normally. That Friday we had another date. I brought her to the park after we were done and I led her to a bench. I had all the IOI's I needed and went in for the kiss. We went back to the car since it was cold and proceeded to make out.
My last girlfriend was out of state so I couldn't see her that much and the one before that was out of her mind. After taking the journey of enlightenment I was able to see all the flaws I had made with girls in the past. I was also a lot more confident in myself and knew how to talk to her. I made her see a high amount of value and she wanted me. We ended up moving very quickly. We hung out every day during the weekend. She met my friends and I met hers. She also had come over to my house and met my mother and grandmother which is such a shocker for this early in the relationship. I am planning on going over to her house and meeting her folks before the end of the month.
I have always been the kind of guy who will treat a girl right. I will make them feel appreciated and be the guy that they dream of. The problem was I was letting girls walk all over me before. I seeked approval and would do anything for affection. I am worth more then that. I am a man that has a lot going for me and any girl would be lucky to have me. She realizes that and she is lucky that I am in her life and I feel lucky that she came into mine.
I have always believed I would be with one of 2 types of girls. One would be purely based on attraction. This girl would probably have been white, curvy, hopefully geeky, and has a very modern way of thinking. She would want to move into an apartment with me after a few months and marriage wouldn't be on the plate for a while. She would be a sexual creature and I would have to deal with the fact that my family doesn't approve of her. The other type of girl would be the girl that my family wants in my life. She would be Indian, malayalee, christian, from a good family, and has traditional values. Her life goals would be about marriage, kids, and family over career.
My new girlfriend is the second girl. She is perfect for my family. She has never been a rebel at home and is exited about being married and having a family. I know that my mother and my grandmother are my responsibility. I have to take care of them even after I get married. She respects that and is willing to move in. She will also get along real well with my mother. My mother's dream is for to have a daughter in law who she can go to church with, get her nails done with, and shop together with. This girl is willing and happy to do all that. She also does love me. I can see that she is willing to do anything to make me happy. I am having feelings that I never had before. I don't know if it is love just yet but its moving in that direction. I have a lot of stuff that I want in my life. I have a good family, good friends, a great job I love, I have a ton of fun, and now I have a girl that loves me and I can end up seeing myself spending the rest of my life with her.
With all my skills I figured something would work out through the act of following the game. I have approached in social settings and gotten a few numbers. Some lead to second dates but nothing all to spectacular. Then one day I was at a wedding. While talking to my cousin a girl notices me in the distance. She approaches my cousins and asks who I was. Later that day my cousin comes up to me and tells me that the girl who approached her had a sister that she wanted to hook me up with. There are many opportunities thrown at us in life and you never know where they will lead so I said yes. After a few e-mails back and forth and a phone conversation we decide to meet up.
Our first date went OK. We met up at a local restaurant, had dinner, and a nice conversation throughout the evening. I didn't think to much of it. It defiantly wasn't love at first site. I talked to her on the phone that week once and we decided to go out again during the following week. We had an entire day together. We had lunch, went bowling, shopping, caught a movie. A fun filled day. We had an absolute blast together. She was down to earth, classy, family oriented and a lot of stuff that you wouldn't find in a girl at the club. She was a bit shy and that is probably one reason I would have never approached her normally. That Friday we had another date. I brought her to the park after we were done and I led her to a bench. I had all the IOI's I needed and went in for the kiss. We went back to the car since it was cold and proceeded to make out.
My last girlfriend was out of state so I couldn't see her that much and the one before that was out of her mind. After taking the journey of enlightenment I was able to see all the flaws I had made with girls in the past. I was also a lot more confident in myself and knew how to talk to her. I made her see a high amount of value and she wanted me. We ended up moving very quickly. We hung out every day during the weekend. She met my friends and I met hers. She also had come over to my house and met my mother and grandmother which is such a shocker for this early in the relationship. I am planning on going over to her house and meeting her folks before the end of the month.
I have always been the kind of guy who will treat a girl right. I will make them feel appreciated and be the guy that they dream of. The problem was I was letting girls walk all over me before. I seeked approval and would do anything for affection. I am worth more then that. I am a man that has a lot going for me and any girl would be lucky to have me. She realizes that and she is lucky that I am in her life and I feel lucky that she came into mine.
I have always believed I would be with one of 2 types of girls. One would be purely based on attraction. This girl would probably have been white, curvy, hopefully geeky, and has a very modern way of thinking. She would want to move into an apartment with me after a few months and marriage wouldn't be on the plate for a while. She would be a sexual creature and I would have to deal with the fact that my family doesn't approve of her. The other type of girl would be the girl that my family wants in my life. She would be Indian, malayalee, christian, from a good family, and has traditional values. Her life goals would be about marriage, kids, and family over career.
My new girlfriend is the second girl. She is perfect for my family. She has never been a rebel at home and is exited about being married and having a family. I know that my mother and my grandmother are my responsibility. I have to take care of them even after I get married. She respects that and is willing to move in. She will also get along real well with my mother. My mother's dream is for to have a daughter in law who she can go to church with, get her nails done with, and shop together with. This girl is willing and happy to do all that. She also does love me. I can see that she is willing to do anything to make me happy. I am having feelings that I never had before. I don't know if it is love just yet but its moving in that direction. I have a lot of stuff that I want in my life. I have a good family, good friends, a great job I love, I have a ton of fun, and now I have a girl that loves me and I can end up seeing myself spending the rest of my life with her.
Monday, January 25, 2010
From The Game
If you actually look at the book the game it was never about teaching you how to pick up women. It was about one mans story of his journey to learn how to pick up women. The character of Stylez is very familiar to a lot of us. I have been in his shoes. I don't feel as if I have the physical characteristics or emotional characteristics to be the person that a women desires. Because you are so unhappy in your life about not having a women you think that happiness will come once you get one.
So as you read the book Neil warns you about what you become once you enter this world. A social robot who's self worth is bases on how many girls he approached that day, how many numbers he had gotten, or how many times he had brought a girl into his bed. It teaches you how to view women as a video game and that they are not real but a challenge to overcome. When you look at a girl that way it takes the humanity out of both you and her.
At the end of the book he finally gets a girl that he falls in love with but not through any means of the teaching that he had before. He gets the girl despite everything he has done. So what do most people get out of the book though? For me and a lot of people we were interested in the method but not the consequences. I wanted to get out there and talk to women and learn how to be successful with them. It wasn't until I looked elsewhere that what I didn't want was to be more successful with them but to be in a better place in life.
The one resource that I rely on the most is probably pick up podcast. The mystery method uses canned lines and routines and breaks down females into just responses for a set of actions. What pick up podcast teaches you is just how to be yourself and how to use that to bring women into your life.
The biggest thing about being good with women is inner game. Inner game is about how you feel inside about who you are. The problem is that most people don't believe that they are good enough for a girl so they will portray that whenever they talk to a girl. There self doubt is very obvious and that is a huge turn off. Guys will often times try do anything to buy the girls affection. Whether it being taking them on expensive dates, buying gifts, or giving up themselves emotionally. While it sounds right to do all this stuff it doesn't cause attraction. Most of the time it will actually hurt the guy to be to invested in the girl and she has no desire for him.
So what exactly does a guy do to be successful with women. Probably the first thing is to forget about women all together. Getting a girl is not the goal. The goal is to enjoy life. What is it that you actually like and go do it. Be happy with your life and people will see that and want to be part of it. The second thing is confidence. You have to believe in yourself. I used to believe I was ugly and have nothing going for me. Now I know I am cute and girls dig me and I am a great catch. I go through life believing that and I make it show.
While I am afraid of approaching strangers I have no problem talking to people I run across in my daily life and having a great conversation with them. I know what people are looking for and I can be myself and build repor with them. The result doesn't matter as long as I am out there full of confidence. The last thing is just trying. If you see a girl that catches your eye just go up to her and try to talk. I discovered so many things about so many people that astonish me. They were very happy to share life with me because I was willing to listen. The last thing is don't worry about being embarrassed. I was the guy who never danced, sings, or opens my mouth to comment. I was to worried that I would look silly so I played it safe. Playing it safe ends up making things worse in the end. Now I let loose. I'll say stupid things, sing along when the radio is on, and have the stupidest moves in the dance floor. I look like I'm having a good time so people want to be a part of that. If I want I invite them to have a good time with me.
A girl will forgive you for pushing the boundaries but will not forgive you for being a pussy. It is the responsibility of the guy to push anything forward. It is his job to approach, to go for the touch, to go for the kiss, and to go for the close. Even if the girl isn't necessarily ready for any step during that process it is still your job to do it. You may never know if she wanted to kiss you unless you actually went there. The worse thing you can do is to let it go. You put so much passion in her and she yearns for you and if you don't deliver she wont forgive you.
The funny thing about me is that the girls that are the most serious with me are not the ones that I have used the game on. I have a girl from Phili who I met on the Indian dating site who is into me and a girl who's sister saw me at a wedding and got hooked up that way. I call it the battle of the Abraham's. They both have the last name Abraham and they both really like me.
While the approach was already taken care of because of the way I met them the rest was still up to me. I've taken both of these girls out on dates and I have kissed both of them. I wasn't going to be a pussy when I am with them. I know who I am and what I want and I'm going to act as such. I believe in myself and know I have a lot to offer someone and while I won't say it outright I will show it. I learned what it is that attracts a female and I use it to my advantage.
So as you read the book Neil warns you about what you become once you enter this world. A social robot who's self worth is bases on how many girls he approached that day, how many numbers he had gotten, or how many times he had brought a girl into his bed. It teaches you how to view women as a video game and that they are not real but a challenge to overcome. When you look at a girl that way it takes the humanity out of both you and her.
At the end of the book he finally gets a girl that he falls in love with but not through any means of the teaching that he had before. He gets the girl despite everything he has done. So what do most people get out of the book though? For me and a lot of people we were interested in the method but not the consequences. I wanted to get out there and talk to women and learn how to be successful with them. It wasn't until I looked elsewhere that what I didn't want was to be more successful with them but to be in a better place in life.
The one resource that I rely on the most is probably pick up podcast. The mystery method uses canned lines and routines and breaks down females into just responses for a set of actions. What pick up podcast teaches you is just how to be yourself and how to use that to bring women into your life.
The biggest thing about being good with women is inner game. Inner game is about how you feel inside about who you are. The problem is that most people don't believe that they are good enough for a girl so they will portray that whenever they talk to a girl. There self doubt is very obvious and that is a huge turn off. Guys will often times try do anything to buy the girls affection. Whether it being taking them on expensive dates, buying gifts, or giving up themselves emotionally. While it sounds right to do all this stuff it doesn't cause attraction. Most of the time it will actually hurt the guy to be to invested in the girl and she has no desire for him.
So what exactly does a guy do to be successful with women. Probably the first thing is to forget about women all together. Getting a girl is not the goal. The goal is to enjoy life. What is it that you actually like and go do it. Be happy with your life and people will see that and want to be part of it. The second thing is confidence. You have to believe in yourself. I used to believe I was ugly and have nothing going for me. Now I know I am cute and girls dig me and I am a great catch. I go through life believing that and I make it show.
While I am afraid of approaching strangers I have no problem talking to people I run across in my daily life and having a great conversation with them. I know what people are looking for and I can be myself and build repor with them. The result doesn't matter as long as I am out there full of confidence. The last thing is just trying. If you see a girl that catches your eye just go up to her and try to talk. I discovered so many things about so many people that astonish me. They were very happy to share life with me because I was willing to listen. The last thing is don't worry about being embarrassed. I was the guy who never danced, sings, or opens my mouth to comment. I was to worried that I would look silly so I played it safe. Playing it safe ends up making things worse in the end. Now I let loose. I'll say stupid things, sing along when the radio is on, and have the stupidest moves in the dance floor. I look like I'm having a good time so people want to be a part of that. If I want I invite them to have a good time with me.
A girl will forgive you for pushing the boundaries but will not forgive you for being a pussy. It is the responsibility of the guy to push anything forward. It is his job to approach, to go for the touch, to go for the kiss, and to go for the close. Even if the girl isn't necessarily ready for any step during that process it is still your job to do it. You may never know if she wanted to kiss you unless you actually went there. The worse thing you can do is to let it go. You put so much passion in her and she yearns for you and if you don't deliver she wont forgive you.
The funny thing about me is that the girls that are the most serious with me are not the ones that I have used the game on. I have a girl from Phili who I met on the Indian dating site who is into me and a girl who's sister saw me at a wedding and got hooked up that way. I call it the battle of the Abraham's. They both have the last name Abraham and they both really like me.
While the approach was already taken care of because of the way I met them the rest was still up to me. I've taken both of these girls out on dates and I have kissed both of them. I wasn't going to be a pussy when I am with them. I know who I am and what I want and I'm going to act as such. I believe in myself and know I have a lot to offer someone and while I won't say it outright I will show it. I learned what it is that attracts a female and I use it to my advantage.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The New Year
I have come a long way since I first started. I feel as if a veil has been lifted from my eyes and I can see a lot clearer. Girls are a mystery to me but I can understand them a bit better. More then that is the fact that I can understand myself. I know what I want more then ever an I know where I want to be in the future. The journey has been fun, interesting, and frustrating
I try my hardest that when someone asks me to go out that I say yes. I never used to hang out with my cousin Neil before but I've been to party after party with him. I decided to spend my New Years eve with him at a house party at the Bronx. A year ago I would have never went out for a new years party let alone one in the Bronx. If I were there I probably would sit on a coach somewhere and look at all the people have fun and wish I could be like them. Why not? Why can't I be out there having fun and talking to everyone?
This year I transformed into that guy. I walk through that door and I introduce myself to everyone. I was shocked when I looked around the room and how many hot girls were there in the most amazing outfits. I go up to different girls and start having a conversation. I talk to both the girls and the guys. I have been trained to be in a place like this. While I am still afraid of approach I do it either way. I learn the girls names and a little bit of what they are about. They are all friendly and we have some descent conversations. Music is constantly playing through the party and I am out there dancing with the girls which is something I have always been afraid of. I'm having an absolute blast. Unfortunately I brought a friend that couldn't hold their alcohol so I couldn't fully realize what I wanted that night but I had a great time either way.
Even though I've been putting myself out there It hasn't produced a second meeting with these girls. That is where the other side of my life has come into play. I still meet people from shaadi.com and even through family that has produced some dates. I've been out on several dates with different girls and some of them have been great but It's hard for me to move it in a direction that I want. I don't know how to act properly to push in a direction of sexual attraction vs hey lets just be friends. I end up in the friendship zone way to much. While I have learned a lot I still don't know what to say. I just be myself but being myself isn't escalating sexually.
I'm not discouraged though. I will continue to learn and hopefully see results soon. It can be frustrating at times though. When I see other people having fun in a relationship I wish I could be that guy. When I see a movie where a guy is cocky funny I want to mimic him but not sure how. I know that I have a lot going for me and I should concentrate on that but its hard to want to be something more that you are not.
At a certain point in my life I believed that no girl would ever like me and that if one ever did I would grab onto her and marry her regardless of who she was. Now I have don't almost a complete 180. I don't want just any girl. I want someone who I absolutely love everything about. I need to be attracted to her physically and emotionally. She needs to be beautiful in my eyes. She has to be fun and engaging. She can't be overly defensive. She has to be modern and in tune with a more new way of thinking and not overly traditional. She needs to have silly quirks that make her unique that I fall in love with. I need her to show me affection and love and make me want to give her the world. I have never been in love and I'm not sure what it feels like. I've had dreams in which I was with a girl and it was the most magical feeling in the world and I want that in my life.
I'm not sure what the future holds for me. While I feel sad a descent amount in my life I have hope. God has always provided for me. He has given me what I needed when I needed it. In 10 years I wonder what I will think when I look back. Who will be the person I transform into. Will I look back and think about how far I've come? Unfortunately I can't read the future and I have the power to write the present. I will find my true love...one day.
I try my hardest that when someone asks me to go out that I say yes. I never used to hang out with my cousin Neil before but I've been to party after party with him. I decided to spend my New Years eve with him at a house party at the Bronx. A year ago I would have never went out for a new years party let alone one in the Bronx. If I were there I probably would sit on a coach somewhere and look at all the people have fun and wish I could be like them. Why not? Why can't I be out there having fun and talking to everyone?
This year I transformed into that guy. I walk through that door and I introduce myself to everyone. I was shocked when I looked around the room and how many hot girls were there in the most amazing outfits. I go up to different girls and start having a conversation. I talk to both the girls and the guys. I have been trained to be in a place like this. While I am still afraid of approach I do it either way. I learn the girls names and a little bit of what they are about. They are all friendly and we have some descent conversations. Music is constantly playing through the party and I am out there dancing with the girls which is something I have always been afraid of. I'm having an absolute blast. Unfortunately I brought a friend that couldn't hold their alcohol so I couldn't fully realize what I wanted that night but I had a great time either way.
Even though I've been putting myself out there It hasn't produced a second meeting with these girls. That is where the other side of my life has come into play. I still meet people from shaadi.com and even through family that has produced some dates. I've been out on several dates with different girls and some of them have been great but It's hard for me to move it in a direction that I want. I don't know how to act properly to push in a direction of sexual attraction vs hey lets just be friends. I end up in the friendship zone way to much. While I have learned a lot I still don't know what to say. I just be myself but being myself isn't escalating sexually.
I'm not discouraged though. I will continue to learn and hopefully see results soon. It can be frustrating at times though. When I see other people having fun in a relationship I wish I could be that guy. When I see a movie where a guy is cocky funny I want to mimic him but not sure how. I know that I have a lot going for me and I should concentrate on that but its hard to want to be something more that you are not.
At a certain point in my life I believed that no girl would ever like me and that if one ever did I would grab onto her and marry her regardless of who she was. Now I have don't almost a complete 180. I don't want just any girl. I want someone who I absolutely love everything about. I need to be attracted to her physically and emotionally. She needs to be beautiful in my eyes. She has to be fun and engaging. She can't be overly defensive. She has to be modern and in tune with a more new way of thinking and not overly traditional. She needs to have silly quirks that make her unique that I fall in love with. I need her to show me affection and love and make me want to give her the world. I have never been in love and I'm not sure what it feels like. I've had dreams in which I was with a girl and it was the most magical feeling in the world and I want that in my life.
I'm not sure what the future holds for me. While I feel sad a descent amount in my life I have hope. God has always provided for me. He has given me what I needed when I needed it. In 10 years I wonder what I will think when I look back. Who will be the person I transform into. Will I look back and think about how far I've come? Unfortunately I can't read the future and I have the power to write the present. I will find my true love...one day.
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