The Bad Boy

Over the last few months I have learned a lot about attracting the opposite sex and what goes on in the female subconscious. What is it that separates someone from being just a friend and someone that brings up sexual thoughts.

I went through my life always believing it was about personality. Be kind, thoughtful, generous, and overall a nice guy and that is what a girl wants. If you ask any girl they will tell you that that is defiantly what they want. But when that comes up to them they reject it. They don't feel the spark or connection that makes them want to pursue it any further. They turn away and go after the boy that they cannot have. The one that doesn't really care about them, the one that gives them chase. He is the bad boy.

Every girl loves him and every guy wants to be him. But what makes him so special. Its all about attitude and confidence. If a girl tells you to do something or that she likes something he doesn't care. He continues to do his own thing and if you want to come along for the ride work hard for an invitation. The thing is these personality traits don't usually have everything that a girl wants in the long term. The guy will show her a good time, build up her sexual tension, and make her crave for more. He will get what he wants and usually will move on leaving the girl devastate and wondering what she can do to win him back.

He typically doesn't want to commit. He won't be generous, wont be a good father, will probably cheat on her, and overall not treat her the way she wants to be treated. The more he acts that way the more she will want him. The more she will work to change him and mold him into the man she dreams.

I've been interacting with people, watching movies, and listening to people talk about what it all means. I know the type of person that I am. I am a good guy. I treat women well, I send them flowers, talk to them when they have problems and buy them gifts to make them feel better. Every time I act like myself I push them further and further away from me. I was told that my biggest weakness is that people can walk all over me. I don't think its true but obviously they see something to be saying it.

So how do I transform myself into being someone that is closer to the bad boy and less like the AFC (average frustrated chump) that I am. I am a very obsessive person. When I find something to obsess about it I'll stick with it and be the best at it that I possibly can be. In my life it has typically been video games. Most recently World of Warcraft. I would spend hours in the game learning to be the best and when I wasn't playing I would go out and figure out how to be better. I want to put that behind me. I don't want to be obsesses with that anymore. I am trying to make working out my new obsession. So far its working out well. I am pushing myself to work harder and make myself a less of a fat ass. I have been getting compliments about how I have lost weight and am looking a lot better.

The other aspect of it is to the mental game. It his hard to train my body language and my fears. I am so afraid of approach anxiety. Not so much to the fact that I don't want to talk but I don't know what to say once I get there. I tried lines but I can't present them well. I have had limited success but the more I see a hot girl and want to approach the harder it is. It shouldn't be so scary but it is . I need to figure out how to work on my inner game.

Its a lot about being the alpha male. Mystery put it best. An alpha male connects well with people, is well groomed, seen as the social center of the room, conveys confidence, conveys a sense of humor and smiles. On my good days I can do that. I need to be able to do that all the time and make myself the one that girls want to be with. I also can't let a girl direct the way I go. I need to be able to be my own man and when I don't like something or not interested be able to say it. It might seem wrong at first but the girl respects that more then if you actually do what she says.

The female mind is complicated. Some of us have figured it out and can get a girl in bed in less then 30 minutes. The rest of us are average frustrated chumps who want it so bad but have a hard time being what they want. I don't think I can ever stop being the good guy. But hopefully with enough time and practice i can portray myself as a man that they want to be with.